“…So I made a list of some must-haves we single ladies should be looking for. Well, not just looking for, but holding out for. Here’s what is non-negotiable:
1. A guy who can make you laugh. Some things in life are not funny. Can he make you at least chuckle when the chips are down?
2. A guy who will laugh at your jokes and “get” you. He might not understand you perfectly on the first date, but if you think you’re funny at all, I hope he gets that and appreciates it about you. Otherwise, you could be Kathy Griffin and you’ll still be laughing alone your whole life.
3. A guy who will attend your lame “things.” Adult dance recital, Mom’s birthday party? Find the guy who will go to something boring even though he will get nothing out of it-but he’ll go for you.
4. A guy who will do nothing with you. And I mean Nothing. If you’re feeling low-energy, anti-social, or blah, can he sit and do nothing with you or does he always leave you on the couch and go party with the guys? And could you two entertain each other on a deserted island or while stuck in traffic?
5. A guy who will give you a thoughtful gift or card. Not every time, obviously, but I would hope this dude would have his moments of showing you he has thought about you.
6. A guy who will say he loves you. I do not care about his made-up theory that love is just a social construct or what have you. Hold out for someone who can and will say it. Also, he shouldn’t say it just because you want him to; he should say it because it feels good to say it.
7. A guy you respect. Does he have a good head on his shoulders? Does he generally like his job? Is he proud of himself? Let’s hope so, ’cause if you think he’s a lazy idiot, you’ll end up resenting him.
I asked some of my friends what they held out for, and this is what they told me….
8. A guy you have good chemistry with. He doesn’t have to be Jude Law, but you should be attracted enough so that every time you have an argument, you will be motivated (by your underlying desire for him!) to work it out.
9. A guy who agrees with you about travel. If you have wanderlust and he never wants to leave his hometown, don’t compromise by staying with him long-term and staying home. It’s fine to be a homebody, but if you’re interested in exploring, find a guy with the travel bug. Otherwise, you’ll look back one day when you’re too old, tired, or broke and you’ll wish you had seen the world.
10. A guy with similar family goals. Don’t compromise on whether or not you’ll have kids. If you want them, find a guy who does. Me, I don’t get serious with guys who say “maybe” they want kids. I want someone who feels as sure as I do-and I can’t talk anyone in or out of anything.
And finally, the best one-of course, comes from my wise friend Melissa:
11. “Wait for someone who sees you the way you want to be seen. He thinks you’re smart, funny, beautiful and powerful-always. Even on days when you can’t believe any of that about yourself.”
That’s a good one! Can’t wait for that.
What are you holding out for?”
(but, but…he used to do that too…sad face)
Which is why I’m focusing on my workouts more than usual lately…he’s not around to give me that feeling or grab my butt (lol); hearing it from any other guy makes me vom, soo I do it for myself. And strut through the office lol
I’ve never worked out to “look good” for a guy (trying to impress a new one, or fear of losing one); I always do it for myself. But the right guy appreciating it? That’s a great feeling and added bonus. You gotta give your man something to brag about haha Don’t you want him to be proud and point you out to his boys, like “yeah, that’s all me.” Or for his boys to compliment him on how good you look? Or all the while, even if no one says it (bc you don’t need recognition), you just kinda have that secret confidence on the inside?? I know I do. I don’t try to look better than anyone in the office, but I feel much better when I’ve been working out & really feel like I can take on the list of tasks thrown at me in the office. So even if I’m not utilizing my physical strength in the office…it still helps somehow. (Should I list how much I can bench and squat on my resume next to Excel skills? No? ok.)
I don’t get excited over shoes. At all.
They’ve been talking about it on the radio all week long; I was recently looking through about 30 pages on zappos.com for new work shoes and found NOTHING; and when my mom and I went shopping on Monday, I was bored out of my mind in the shoe department as she was busy drooling over everything. She kept asking me “Are you sure you don’t see anything?! Well just look!” Ugh.
What’s wrong with me? That’s like a required girl trait – to be obsessed with shoes. I’m just super picky and it’s hard for me to find something that I really like. Also, thanks to the stress fracture in my right foot from running track, every time I’m on my toes, it’s sheer pain. So you can imagine what wearing heels feels like. Especially for hours on end. Kinda boring, but I wear flats to work every day, heels maybe once a month. The only time I really wear heels is for going out on the weekends and even then I’m complaining and sitting as much as possible. And going out is always the worst combination possible – not just walking in them, but also standing for hours on end, dancing/intense movement for hours, and usually walking for blocks to and from the car. But we gotta be cute – it’s tough being a girl…
So besides the pain, here are some reasons why I think the obsession is kinda silly:
- they get scuffed up/dirty so easily. Even if you’re a super cute walker, you never know when someone is going to step on your foot (which happens a lot when you’re in a crowded club or other venue). And even if people don’t step on you, you’re just bound to bump into a curb or something. So I get real upset when they’re damaged beyond repair and I just spent all that money and only got one or two “clean” uses of them. Even if you stay on top of things with the cleaning/polishing, it just happens – your feet really go through the elements (random crap on the street, rain, mud, sand, puddles; dare I say it…gum (gasp). You never know.
- they usually only match like 2 outfits in your closet. Call me crazy, but if I’m dropping a good wad of cash on shoes/anything, I don’t want them to sit in my closet unless I’m wearing that one dress. Yeah, you can get creative/mix and match with basics, but a lot of people I know buy shoes that really only match one outfit. Maybe it’s my Finance kicking in, but that doesn’t seem worth it…not really getting your money’s worth…
But I will admit – I agree with something I’ve heard a lot of people say about how great shoes are: no matter how much your weight fluctuates, your shoe size pretty much stays the same. So even on those days you feel fat and every outfit makes you look gross, you can always rely on a good pair of shoes to make you feel pretty.
My thing? BAGS. Handbags, purses…ALL. DAY. Love. Why are they better? A good bag will go with half of your closet, if not everything. They LAST and aren’t prone to fads fading/weight change – you really can invest in a good bag and have it for years and years. Even if you run out of the house in sweats, that good bag will make you look (somewhat) more ‘put together.’ They happen to hold well…all of life’s necessities. Do your pumps hold your cell phone, keys, money, lip gloss, and emergency band-aids? Don’t think so.
So that is my PSA. For the price you spend on one or two pairs of shoes, I’d much rather buy a nice bag…and laugh at you teetering around.
@SavvySugar: US women will control 2/3 of the wealth by 2022, says @TheJaneDough http://savvysu.gr/21841370
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