Things I’m grateful for

So I’d like a bit more consistency on this thing here I call a blog (ha, look at me acting like my life over the next 6-8 months will be calm. Anything but…)

I really would like some kinda “regular thing”…a go-to feature or topic? I’ve noticed a common theme over the past couple of weeks as I draft blog posts in my head (c’mon, you do it too)…I’ve just had this overwhelming sense of “grateful” for a while now. Even when things haven’t been great, I catch myself smiling like an idiot (and hope no one saw it).

In the spirit of one of the first blogs I started following (if you’re not, do it now, she’s amazing), I think I’ll take Mondays as a time to reflect and be thankful for the good things I have going on – big or small. I usually find myself having a really good workout Monday morning, or reading just the right quote and coming back to that one thing all day thinking “Motivation Monday!!!” (I mean, Mondays are typically rough, so if you can focus on the good, it can really set the tone for the day and week)

(I’m starting to gross myself out with all of this positivity – let’s just go with it hahaha)

Anyways, I need to come up with some cool & catchy title (not Motivation Monday, c’mon), but for now, this is what I’ve got:

  • Feeling strongyeah, yeah – she can’t go a post without mentioning CrossFit lol But more than that – today I felt really strong. Physically, but also emotionally. It’s kinda translating. I was always a little stick of a girl, so being able to throw 135 pounds over my head, or squat about 200 pounds…is a very empowering thing. And I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s making everything else better – yesterday/this morning I got a little choked up over the family drama, but I tapped into that little place, and everything was ok. Confidence & inner strength rock.
  • Dressing up – what girl doesn’t like to play dress up? If I’m going out with friends, I’m always ready to dress it up. But my attitude in dressing for work over the past four years has been the complete opposite. I hated the thought of going to work, so it was minimal effort – I mean, who was I trying to impress? You guys are lucky if I show up in something wrinkle-free and remotely matches. I’ve also often shied away from feeling too vain or feeling like I had to hide behind makeup and clothes. But it’s ok! I’ve had this shift lately where I want to match cute outfits and I’ve been wearing (minimal) makeup to work every day. I’m even ok with wearing heels one day a week (not every day; not trying to ruin my feet) I’m kinda proud of myself for not being afraid of getting “oh, she thinks she’s cute” – actually, I wore this because it makes me feel good. Also, the whole “dress for the job you want thing” – new job has very much put me in a position to be set for life, so I’m on board with making it happen. Old/new job call for business casual, but new job is a step up given we sometimes meet with clients or have to go to the executive boardroom for meetings (fancy) #profeshtodeath lol
  • Friends – new & old – I’ve always been a friendly person, but was pretty introverted until I graduated from college. Now, I don’t care – I’ll talk to anyone, I’m like the mayor when we go out. Still, I’ve always been slow/hesitant to call someone my friend because I think people throw around the term loosely. Also, I’ve had a lot of friends screw me over/we grew apart. So it’s a sensitive spot for me – I’ll talk to anyone, but kinda stick with my core group of friends if that makes sense? But I started this year with the New Years’ Resolution mindset that I need to be more open – to stop being scared/paranoid that everyone will hurt me. I especially needed to branch out and come out of my cave after I basically took a social hiatus March-December of last year (largely driven by the falling out with The One/fed up with job sitch). Anywho, I’ve been letting myself get to know people at the gym and work without that ‘cringe’ feeling. It oddly feels nice to get to know people, and people want to get to know you, ask if you’re ok, where have you been?, come hang out with us. I feel like I get a big ol hug every day lol And I’ve even friended a bunch of people of FB (which to me feels so intimate, someone having so much info on you; not private info, but like I can sit and memorize dates and facts about you lol)
  • Forgiveness – ties back to the feeling strong thing – I’ve had exes popping up for no reason (guess I’m that awesome? jk) I’m glad that I’m able to see/speak to them without my eyes turning red or fists balling up. Instead it’s a “ah, nice to hear from you, old friend. Hope life has been good to you” (also: I know I’m hotter than any girl after me/haha you’re still single)
  • Calendar – again, after me being a hermit, I’ve been having fun filling in my Erin Condren planner with stickers and doodles for lots of work/non-work events. It’s nice to have things to look forward to in terms of stuff I can learn and memories to be made…

 

photo-2

30 Before 30

So my recent 27th birthday has caused me to realize that I’m making the turn from mid-twenties to late twenties, also known as Looming Death & Turning 30.
Thirty is a big deal – nothing really happens after 21, you just sort of cruise through your twenties without a milestone. Then BAM – 30 smacks you in the face causing you to re-evaluate your entire life if you haven’t gotten married, had kids, or established a career.

I can’t say too concerned about turning 30 – as I’ve said before, I think I’d actually pat myself on the back for being strong if I happen to still be single then (read 99% chance). The things I will freak out about?? If I’m still stuck in a career I despise and if I’m not a mom. The first shouldn’t be too hard, but the second entails the whole marriage thing so, eh…

In any event, I bought a Smash Journal over the weekend – perfect for where I am since I like to write/create things/document things and am doing more photography. (Again, all of my hobbies to distract me from misery) The journals often feature lists like top 10s. I love a good list (I make about 5 a day, it’s how I survive and stay “sane”). So all of these factors taken together, along with New Year’s Resolutions coming up…I’ve got some work to do.

I’ve seen a few 30 Before 30 posts and bucket lists floating around the Internet and blew them off – “Ick, that’s SO far away, whatever…” But guess what? I’m in my late twenties now (is 24-25 mid & 27-29 late??) and 30 is right around the corner. I’ve been inspired to create my own 30 Before 30 list and spend three years tackling it, which is a good pace spread out. I’m still finalizing the list, but I found comfort in noticing that I’ve actually already done a good amount of significant things:

Bungee jump
Get a tattoo
Learn how to live alone
Get a master’s degree
Tell a boy you love him
Own your own home
Swim with dolphins
Learn to walk away from a crappy job
Learn to forgive
Take a dance class
Put a baby to sleep
Go to dinner/a movie alone
Hit on the hottest guy in the bar

So yeah, not too bad – a good foundation. I’m looking forward to lots more. And getting out of this quarter-life crisis; hopefully this list will serve as a guide/help keep me on track and focused!

On Turning 30

In 3 years and 3 months, I’ll be 30 years old.

 

I’m nowhere near being married or having kids – I should be freaking out over this, right?

 

But I’m not. I keep seeing some quote about your twenties being your “selfish” years – which is really true but I think most people take that for granted and throw it away. They end up divorced by 29, or married by 24 with a few kids and they’re left sitting and wishing that they had more time to “do it up” or live out some dream.

 

So I’m trying to focus on that and not the big scary number looming over my head. After all, I haven’t done all that bad – I bought my house when I was 24 and finished grad school when I was 25. Although I despise it, I have a decent job. I’ve managed to avoid having unexpected kids as well as getting married too early to the wrong guy. All good things, I’d say.

 

I’m not saying that if these things have happened to you, then that makes you a bad person…not at all. I believe everything happens for a reason, and as long as you’re happy with your life, then awesome. To each his own! Some people sought out being married by 24 – good for you. As long as you don’t regret it.

 

The point is that 30 is a big milestone – we’ve talked about this a few times at work lately: a college intern inspired all of us, his elders, as he told us about his already successful company; and our manager just turned 31 and mentioned that she was supposed to have accomplished so much more by now.

 

Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking about doing something “big” – like I need some symbolic, significant feat to accomplish. After all, I have something to stamp on 24 and 25. For some reason, running a marathon kept popping into my head. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fitness nut and have always been an athlete; I’m always looking for a new activity to try and challenge my body. But “marathon” to me is a 4-letter word. I ran track for 10 years, but running anything over 400 meters is just torture. Yeah, I’ll go out for a run to clear my head or do intervals on the treadmill, but I’ve never EVER said “wow, that 10 miles felt great!” It’s just crazy to me. I prefer speed not distance. So I truly admire those who can run such distances as 13 or 26 miles…

 

It seems like so many people I know choose doing a marathon as a big goal in their lives – to jumpstart a new fitness regimen, lose weight, or running for a worthwhile charity. I mean it is a big thing – you can’t just wake up one day and decide to do it – it takes months of training. Which I love…just not when it ends with running miles on end.

 

Scrapping that, and given the fact that I HATE my job and have been looking for a way out, I’ve been left with 2 things: moving to a new city and starting over (which was largely prompted by my heart being broken, but the job thing too), and becoming a millionaire by the age of 30 (cliche, I know). I’ve kinda been on the fence about the whole moving thing lately – yeah, I still want to do it, but getting a job 1,000 miles away has proved to be nearly impossible. So still a goal I’m working towards, just on the backburner. So then I thought, hey – what can I do, here and now? Something I can work on right where I am with what I’ve been given – something that won’t require a drastic move but is still moving me towards my ultimate goal of getting out of the corporate world and into my dream career of health & fitness. Due to market research, it’s not really feasible for me to open a gym in this area; but what I can do, something that’s universal and would be a perfect complement to my gym venture…is food. My inner nutritionist coming out, I thought up an amazing health food idea. Can’t share the deets because someone will steal it. I’m pretty proud of myself because I’m not really creative, and I’m often left saying “wow, why didn’t I think of that?” I think this is one of those things – it seems like something that people across the country would gravitate toward. I really think I could do it. And I’d get to use my business background too. I started today by asking my dad how to go about getting patents (since he’s a science geek and actually has some of his own). The only problem is getting funding. Bah, can’t I have a sugar daddy just throw me like $20,000 seed money to get this off the ground? I gotta get this thing going if I plan on being a millionaire by 30. Three solid years – I think that’s a decent timeframe to make this work. Time to hustle.

 

I just keep envisioning myself getting the business to a stable point where I can finally quit my job. *sighs* So beautiful. Telling everyone to KMA?! Even if it’s just in my head, that will give me SUCH wonderful satisfaction – I don’t need you nor do I have to put up with your shit anymore. Yes, let that be my motivation – not the money, or potential fame (ha) – but telling the corporate world “peace out” forever. That is what I need to keep my eyes on. I’ve never ever wanted to be my own boss or have my own business, but if it’s my way out of the corporate world, I’ll do what it takes. Which should actually be more fun than work since it’s working on something I actually love and am passionate about.

 

So that’s it – my plans for the next few years. To make the most of my twenties so I don’t look back and regret anything. If love/marriage/kids happen to wedge their way in there along the way…I wouldn’t hate it. But they’re nowhere on my list and I’m ok with that. Yeah, I want them, always have…but they’re not something I’m going to “work towards” – I think those things work out best when you let them happen instead of forcing them. Seeking out love often results in disappointment and frustration – always happens to me when I’m not looking. But when I try to date (like this past month) and put myself out there, I get hit with losers that initially seemed great. Even if I go in with no expectations, it always sucks when things don’t work out. I don’t have time to be bogged down with that if I’m trying to do big things over here! No, I’m not some career woman that doesn’t have time for love – a good man, I will make time for; having my energy and inspiration zapped by some loser when it should be going towards my dreams – zero time for that. Which is why I focus on tasks at hand and if someone is bold enough to step up, make me see they’re worth my time, and happen to support my goals? Well, then…that’s cool.

 

I’ve rambled enough and will leave you with some awesome inspirational graphics, a.k.a. my mantras I keep repeating and can be seen as my iPhone wallpaper rotation.

 

The Princess Frog?! One of my top 3 fav movies & I find it relatable – not even sorry.

New Year’s Resolutions

Oh, hi – it’s the first day of September. There are suddenly four months left in the year. Where did the time go? I don’t know, but it seems like we were all just ringing in 2012 and being all optimistic and setting lofty goals. How did you do with yours? Did it get dropped after three weeks? If so, there’s still time, right? Even if it’s not for all of 2012, at least it’s good to make positive lifestyle changes at any time.

Ok, enough of the Suzy Sunshine, but it is true. I’m happy to say that I accomplished most, but not all of my resolutions. At least I knocked the big ones off my list. And then at the end of May, I set another goal: that by the end of August, I’d have a new job in Atlanta, and move 1500 miles away to start a new life, pursue my dreams, and most importantly, forget about a certain someone breaking my heart. Yesterday…that deadline came and went. So sad. haha I should pat myself on the back for at least making the effort and trying to make things happen, but I feel kinda eh about it. Again, it’s not too late, but it really does suck that it didn’t happen after I thought I allowed a reasonable timeline.

Maybe there’s a good reason. It doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen – maybe now just wasn’t a good time. I’m a big believer in the whole everything happens for a reason thing. Yeah, it sucks, but it is what it is. And usually when you get to where you want to be, you’re able to look back and say “ohh, that’s why I was miserable for all those months.”

And you know what? Even though the past eight months have brought me heartache, pain, disappointment, stress, anger, and loss of faith in, well, people; I gotta believe it all happened for a good reason. The whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing (man, could I break out any more cliche sayings? And yes, I’m singing Kelly Clarkson in my head) With love: now that I’ve dealt with the WORST, I figure anything that any other guy could throw at me will be a walk in the park. With work: now that I’ve seen how shitty the corporate world is and how it works, and have had terrible experiences…at least now it’s clear and confirmed for me that I really need to pursue my dreams and get out because it’s not the place for me.

See? Silver lining. And I’d been meaning to blog about it, but until Thursday, I’d been on a super wave of positivity. A lot of things going well despite not everything being where I want it to be/where it should be. With love: I put myself back out there as much as I didn’t want to, and have met some good people/reconnected with others. No, nothing to write home about or make me change my stance on marriage/relationships, but it has managed to make me forget about ol what’s-his-name. I can’t say that the pain is completely gone, but at least I’m over it…in the sense that it doesn’t really upset me anymore/it’s become second nature to not think about him like that. So kinda mourning the loss of a key person in your life, but minus the sting of the situation & what was said. And then with work: yes, I still DREAD going in every day, and I still feel myself wanting to scream and run away from my desk from working with crappy people/the realization that I’m underpaid and more qualified and should be elsewhere…but I’ve done a great job at faking it. I mean great – laughing and joking with everyone, acting like I want to be there and going the extra mile, etc. So I asked myself the other day: wait…you’re not actually starting to like this, are you?!?! The answer was a firm hellll no. But what I have liked and done is three things: 1) Remind myself that it is a job, and without it, I couldn’t have all the things I love (like my house and gadgets); and I should be grateful to have one. 2) Remind myself that I’m kind of a boss, and even when I’m thrown into a situation that I’m not prepared for and completely despise, I make the most of it and work hard anyways. I don’t know how to not work hard – that’s what I do. I completely hate what I do, and it’s not what I went to school for, but I’ve still made an effort to learn and do well. Because I never want to be that girl that people label as lazy or unreliable. When someone asks me to do something, in my head I roll my eyes, say that I really don’t have any idea how to do this nor do I care enough to figure it out, and why don’t you ask someone who knows how to do it; I didn’t go to school for this and I’m way underpaid so really you people don’t deserve my efforts – I’m really about to give you the effort that coincides with what you pay me…BUT instead, I politely smile and enthusiastically say “sure, I can do that,” even though it inevitably ends in me stressing out and trying to figure some shit out & getting 3 hours of sleep because I took my laptop home to work on dumb shit. Why? Because that’s all I know. I just work hard even when people don’t deserve my all. WOW, that sounds like most of my relationships…

Anyways, the point is that going on bad dates and putting up with shit at work…I do it because I’ve been making a real effort this year to make the best out of what I have. These are the shitty cards you’ve been dealt; no, it shouldn’t be you; yes, you’ve worked hard to be elsewhere, but darn it, it could be a lot worse. It can only get better, be patient, and dwelling on how shitty it is will NOT make it better. In fact, focusing on the little (teeny) good parts to your day, will make those days a little more bearable. I get annoyed when people say “you’re in charge of your own happiness, happiness is a choice, etc.” But I guess it’s better to say you have control over your outlook and the way you handle things. Yeah, I think all men are trash and I’ve been shown nothing but that…doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with a guy and (try to) let myself have fun and be open to someone proving me wrong.

So what am I going to do the rest of the year to make these months count? Next weekend I’m going to LA for a family reunion (airports, obscene amounts of Southern food, and an event yielding a free t-shirt? I’m in.) October…I have it in my head that some cute guy will take me apple picking (in my cute riding boots/jeans/scarf ensemble) and the Halloween party is at my house this year (I already planned it on a Pinterest board, duh. Best hostess ever) November=Thanksgiving/something else I’ll dream up. December=my 27th birthday (I need to throw a party) and Christmas of course.

Let’s make it good, people.

Starting a New Life – Part 3

SO. Here’s the deets:
– this will be a 2 phase program. The 5-year plan is to duh, transition out of finance into my dream job of health & fitness. How will I do this? Unfortunately, my finance degrees/experience don’t qualify me to jump right into a job in health & fitness. Sooo I’m currently applying for more finance jobs down there (Atlanta, btw) – I figure I can have something secured by the end of August. So that’s phase 1 – physically move down there within the next 3 months.
Phase 2 includes (painfully) sucking it up and using the finance job to keep a roof over my head while I…spend 3 months studying for and taking my CPT/CSCS exam and getting CPR certified instead of trying to go back to school. I can just save up and study for the exam at night so that I can become qualified for my dream job by the end of the year. Or even if it takes a few months more, it’s cool – at least I’m already employed.

– I’ll keep paying for my house here, and get an apartment down there. I don’t have to get a crazy pay increase to do both because…wait for it…I’ll just use the money I’ve been putting away each month for my future kids! How ironic is that? I’ve been doing the right thing saving early for the little tots, and now that that’s no longer happening…boom, like free money. So I win – I get to relocate without having to sell my beloved house and it’s still here if new city doesn’t work out! But it will…

– So IDEALLY, we can fast forward to where I’m working in some fab health & fitness job to the point where I can quit the finance job completely; I’m being realistic and know that it won’t pay as much as my finance job, but it’s cool because I’d been using the job to save up some more, and I have some other stuff I can liquidate for emergencies (again, backup plans!); also, kinda 1b of my dream job…I want to bartend. LOL I’ve mentioned this before, and I really want to do it. I know it’s cheesy bc it’s not like saying “I want to be a doctor,” but I know I’d be good at it…so much so where I could make great tips as substantial extra income while having some fun lol People tell me I’m personable and would be good at it, so it’s not me being hopeful haha I love hearing other people’s stories/good random conversations to provoke your thoughts/mind; I love liquor; I live in black spandex now which is the standard uniform; I have no spouse/kid so I can work til 3am; I always have a big smile on my face; I do everything quickly/with a sense of urgency; and I’ve worked in retail so I have that customer experience. This is a no-brainer. Yeah, tips can fluctuate and you have to get into a good bar, but I could kill it lol So pencil in some 4-hour bartending course along the way.

– I plan on just spending a few years absorbing as much knowledge and experience as I can while saving/supplementing with bartending lol so that I can get to the point of just opening my own gym. Yeah, I’ll have to do more market research/demographics, but there’s more demand there than here. Or worst case scenario, I work under someone else – anything so that I can wake up every morning and say that I do what I love. That’s the goal. I know I’m being a complete idiot because I’ve set myself to be successful in finance – 2 degrees, working on certifications, always reading stuff, and working for one of the biggest firms in the world. And I’ve always pictured this income to enable me to do what my parents did: send my kids to private school, spoil them, buy a big house/nice things, go on trips/out to dinners, etc. But now that I only have myself to worry about, it’s different. I still want to travel more, but my potential income isn’t as important anymore. This article was a good reminder of that concept – if you wouldn’t do your job for free, quit. And I’ve always thought it was silly to think such a thing, and that I hated hearing it because it only came from people like Oprah because well, of course they can say follow your heart because they are one of the 5 million people it’ll work out for; they wouldn’t be saying that if they hadn’t gotten to where they did, they’d be grumbling like the rest of us. And I always scoffed at people for “following their heart” when it led them to being broke and in bad situations that could’ve been prevented and they probably knew that but wanted to be dumb. There’s a difference between taking a risk and being dumb. Maybe I just take calculated risks, and yeah, just like my speech on love, one of them could make what looks like a bad decision and it turns out to be spectacular. To each his own. I’m just doing what’s good for me, and truth be told, I’m cringing at getting the “but you won’t make that much money” speech yet again from my mom. I get it any time I bring up health & fitness jobs. I applied and got into nutrition school 3 years ago, but chose a finance job once she gently reminded me that I could kiss designer handbags and Caribbean trips goodbye; jokingly said that I’d have to marry rich lol So yeah, it was a dose of reality, she was doing her job, and if she hadn’t, I’d still be living with my parents. But at this point, I’m done. Not so much of trying to launch into some late rebellion stage, but just a realization. Now that I have the experience – spending the past 4 years COMPLETELY getting fucked by the finance industry/this company even though I tried really hard to go back to grad school and stick it out. And for me to have asshole bosses and watch slackers get rewarded, and spend a year crying at my desk because my job search went nowhere after I made sure to be so qualified. And losing my happiness along the way and feeling like I’m dying inside. And that’s just work, don’t get me started on the love life again. I’m just done with all of it. If you don’t like it, change it. Yes, guys will be assholes anywhere, and yes you’ll have asshole bosses everywhere and see slackers get rewarded. That’s life. But I’ll be damned if I spend the next 40 years working in something that’s not worth taking all of the crap – a nice paycheck can’t fix your misery. Your job really is more than just a source of income. You spend 2,000 hours a year working, so why not do something you love? At least if I go home crying it’ll be because someone said something rude and I had a bad day as a result, and not because simply sitting at my desk makes me feel like a part of me is dying every day. Most people don’t like their jobs, that’s normal. But hating your job so much that it makes you sad in or out of the office…is not healthy. So I’m going to do something about it. I could fail miserably. It could completely turn out to be something different than what I expected. But I’m not going into this blindly – I’ve done research and thought out scenarios and angles. I have backup plans. It’d be different if I just up and decided to be spontaneous at the age of 18. At least this way, if it flops, I always have my finance degrees/experience to get me another boring 9-5 job to survive, and I’ll still have my house. But I don’t want to be one of those people looking back on my life wishing I had taken that chance. It’s time to make moves.

Starting a New Life – Part 1

I can’t even type fast enough, I’m so excited to just gush about this plan I’m hatching. I’ll skip the intro and get right to it:

I’ve decided to move 800 miles away! That’s right: this do-the-right-thing, play it safe girl is going to pack a Uhaul and make moves. Serious moves.

If you know me in real life, you know that this is something I’ve never entertained and swore I’d never do…until recently. Yes, people move all the time, but I always thought it wasn’t for me. I thought I was living life “the right way” – we moved here 13 years ago for my dad’s job – I went to high school here, to college 40 minutes away, and stayed in the area ever since – got jobs here and went so far as to settle in and buy a house. I envisioned myself never having to leave because I really don’t think there’s a better place to be for me: the area is really safe, good schools, great proximity to cities/airports, and lots of parks. And my parents live like 10 miles away. Not only did I know this would be good for me starting out on my own, but I thought for sure if I were getting married & having kids, I wouldn’t have reason to move. And I said that the only reason I would ever consider moving is with a husband – if his job required it, or if we really just loved a city that much and wanted to kinda branch out on our own. But in that sense, I’d not only be making such a drastic change outside of my comfort zone, but I’d be doing it with someone – and not just anyone, but my soulmate and really, how can you be scared if it’s with your soulmate?

But…all that shit got thrown out of the window over the past 2 months lol I no longer envision any of that white picket fence crap for myself – I’ve just accepted the reality (and side note – I told my mom last week and she is PISSED over the no grandchildren thing…) But ya know, all of that stuff isn’t meant for everyone. I always thought it was for me, and always wanted it, but hey…crap happens.

SO. This brings me to the many reasons why now/why at all (this is all I’ve thought about/reasearched the past few days):

Common barriers to relocating:

  • significant other/spouse – will they come with me? Will we try long-distance? Can they find a job in the new city? NONE OF THIS. I have zero issues here 🙂
  • kids – how is the new school system? Is the area safe? Are there things for them to do or will they like it? What about their friends here? How will they adjust. NONE. No baggage lol
  • selling a house / buying a new one – my mommy (love her) was a huge proponent for me buying my house, lots of support. She is a very “safe” person too, so you can imagine how surprised I was when she told me “don’t let your house hold you back.” This was in reference to us discussing a possible move last year to be with the then-boyfriend (gag). She saw how upset I was when he moved and without me even bringing up moving, she said “You can move down there – I’ll take your house so don’t worry about selling it.” WAIT WHAT?! Not only are you ok with me basically ditching such a huge investment/responsibility oh, a year into it, but you’re ok with me moving to be with some guy I’m not even engaged to?! I’m still scratching my head on that one because she is super conservative…as in she freaks if she knows a guy spent the night over here/me at his, and she doesn’t really like the idea of people moving in together before marriage. I could go on, but I’m chalking it up to she was just being supermom trying to do anything to stop her daughter’s tears (words can’t express how much I love her). The bottom line is that I wouldn’t have to worry about selling my house – not the easiest thing to do in this economy/ever, and most companies wouldn’t cover my relocation fees anyway; and I’m WAY too emotionally attached to this house to (gulp) rent it out, and a potential new house would have to blow me away since I built this house – it really is “me” so I can’t have some creepy stranger come all up in here and ruin it or not appreciate it correctly. It just wouldn’t feel like “mine” ever again lol I wouldn’t be mad at the rent covering most of the mortgage payment, but whatev. ALSO, let’s just say I live in new city for a year and hate it? Boom, backup plan in place, just come back here. Alwayssss have a backup plan.