A roller coaster day

Does anyone else take a two-hour nap after work and before bed? I just woke up from one.

I hope that gives you an idea of how the past 2 days have been. I’m drained.

First – new job is AWESOME. Everyone is super nice and helpful, really knows their stuff. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for and I really feel like I’m in the right place finally. I spent most of yesterday meeting everyone/a two-hour lunch at a nice seafood restaurant. All day today was training in a classroom on all of the systems and a few processes – same thing tomorrow. I forgot how rough sitting in class and paying attention is – all the coffee.

So I’ve been on this new job high…was feeling good after leaving the gym this morning, looking forward to another day at work…then boom – a very unexpected text from The One. That’s right – that guy. I haven’t talked to him in over, hmm, 16 months?? My heart sank. It was just a nice “hope all is well.” And usually I ignore any messages for fear of feelings resurfacing after I’ve worked so hard to suppress them and heal. But I realized that I’m in a really good place and strong enough to handle it; and I don’t like being a jerk, so I replied with a nice “you too.” Short and sweet. Let’s leave it at that. Got another text in the afternoon…and we ended up spending the day catching up on each other’s lives. It’s like nothing ever happened – no weird air or tension. Lots of laughs. Comfortable. Effortless. -sigh- Then he asks how my parents doing. Ironically…at that very moment…turns out…

My parents were in a meeting for getting a divorce. Yep, I’m serious. My mom told me indirectly after work – not “hey we had a meeting today bc this is happening,” but just about how things got ugly and they were bickering. It’s a mixture of emotions – relief and heartache at the same time. They’ve both been unhappy for a while, so no surprise. I know this isn’t a big deal bc plenty of people have had their parents split up, but usually when they’re little and don’t know what’s going on. I’ve heard it’s worse when you’re older bc you actually understand the underlying feelings and feel pressure to side. Ugh…that’s a whole nother post. Don’t feel like crying right now, and I need to read stuff for work (after Catfish goes off!)

Thank you for all of the well wishes! You’re gorgeous – all of you 🙂

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3 thoughts on “A roller coaster day

  1. Firstly, ride that high as long as you can! being happy at work has so many great side effects.
    I still have moments like that with my ex, he wasn’t The One, and I still wonder if it’s healthy behavior because it’s like he pops in….then at the most random moments he sends me some nostalgic artifact of the past (i.e.: some picture of something he still own). It’s kind of annoying at this point, but I still entertain it. But because I like to prove to myself that I’m not bitter or angry, I respond. I really have nothing against him but have come to accept him as he is. The question is…what’s underlying the real need to have those random “check-ins”?

    • lol! I’m glad it’s not just me
      My theories: a) “I miss you. Wow, I messed up a good thing”…bits of regret set in when they realize what they’ve lost forever b) To keep the relationship “warm”; let me kinda feel her out to see if/how much she hates me; keep it semi-cool so I’m not totally forgotten and I could potentially get back in when I’m ready and it works for me.

      My response? Yes, you’re an idiot. And no, bye. hahaha

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