nothing going on…spent the past few days dealing with some old feelings (thanks to someone reaching out to me; there’s a reason I’ve been ignoring you for 3 months). I don’t think we need to elaborate on who that was or why…quite frankly I’m drained from thinking about it. Emotionally drained, have been for years…blech.
Work…meh. Every day is just reinforcement of the fact that I never want to be a manager – I don’t know why people do it – I’m in charge of making sure that someone else doesn’t screw up, holding their hand, and listening to them whine? All while making sure that my own work is done? Sounds like raising a child, no thanks. We’re all adults here. Ugh, so annoying. I’m responsible but I didn’t sign up for this. I already don’t want to be there, so leave me in peace at my desk, don’t have 2 people up my ass all day long.
Still working on the moving 800 miles away and starting over thing…no news there. All I know is, it better come soon – between hearing from him, people at work, and something else I can’t put my finger on…I definitely need this asap. And I’m beginning to realize that I really must want this deep down in my heart because I’m still motivated and this feeling won’t go away. It’s not like a lot of things where you get all revved up and excited but then the buzz kinda fades away…kinda like all of those recipes you’re “going to make” on Pinterest.
I’m going to sleep now…before 10pm. Not even sorry.