A few months ago, I picked up a book called Is Marriage For White People? In it, author Ralph Richard Banks addressed the decline of successful black marriages in America. He attributed this to two factors: 1) African-American women attaining a higher level of education than their male counterparts, and 2) successful black men marrying outside of their race twice as much as within. So for simplicity’s sake, let’s just say that as soon as black men find success, they often marry outside their race, leaving behind a very small and mediocre dating pool to choose from. This lack of suitable, stable men in the black community forces women to either “marry down” or stay single, which limits opportunities for successful marriages.
With that being said, why has comedian Kevin Hart taken it upon himself to misrepresent the current and dyer situation by negatively and wrongfully stereotyping black women in this cartoon?
It is absolutely hilarious to me that regardless of the 2-to-1 ratio of black women vs. black men in college, the “strong black women” in this cartoon are ripped-jeans-wearing, gut protruding, gold triangle earring flaunting, big-assed hood rats, unimpressed by the mannerly, well-dressed, “geeky” black man. In “Act 1,” the geek has bad posture and is obviously not very confident because he knows he isn’t going to be accepted by the women who are telling him he has “no game.” After procuring a nice white girl, he stands confidently, unmoved by the black women who are now calling him a “sellout” and a “self hater.”
Is Hart trying to imply that the real reason why black men are shunning black women is because we are all scantily dressed, ghetto-ass haters? The statistics about the male/female higher education disparity must be all wrong, huh? (It is even more peculiar to me that Hart would produce such crap, considering he was married to a strong black woman, who is also the mother of his children. I wonder if she had the “bad attitude” he refers to in this cartoon…) A word of advice to Hart: if you’re going to put your name on any more crap like this, at least make it be funny.
I can’t even begin to explain how incredibly relevant this is. STORY OF MY LIFE. But a) I’m nowhere near a hood rat; b) don’t get offended because most women look like that and say those things – he’s poking fun at the truth, not like he made it up; and c) I’m one of the few black women that doesn’t care if guys date outside the race – their loss! I’m sure they had a “good reason.”
If they tried dating black women and got fed up, ok, they just didn’t meet the right one – I’m not mad, just bad experiences. If they chose to exclude black women from the jump, again, good for them – sadly, they were never exposed to someone like me – we’re a rare breed. (Just like a good black man – I know they exist in very small numbers) The only 2 questions I raise are: if they’re ok with living with the knowledge that they’re so narrow-minded, and if they are aware that their mother is a black woman, sisters (siblings) too. Clearly you don’t have to date them, but you can’t say you hate something you also love. (How does that work though – you say black women are loud for example. Do you acknowledge your mom is and that’s ok, but you don’t want to date that?)
In any event, you can’t help who you fall in love with. We can’t assume that a black guy walking down the street with his white girlfriend is with her because of her race, like he sought her out as a prize. Maybe they just happened to get to know each other at work or had mutual friends. But if it turns out he just wanted a white girl 1. You didn’t want him anyways, he’s SHOWING you he’s dumb. 2. She’s an idiot if she knows and is ok with that – don’t get mad at dumb, forgive her silly, simple mind.
And yes – since you’re wondering – I’ve dated white and black guys. No preference. Caught a lot of shit from black guy friends for dating white guys even though they date white/other girls. Like Chris Rock said, bout time we exercised our right, black guys have been doing it for decades lmao I didn’t do it out of curiosity/intrigue, it just happened. If I hadn’t been exposed to the significant number of GOOD black men that I have, I might date only white guys too. (But sidenote – I HATE when white guys act like I’m some exotic, forbidden fruit. Yes, I know I have a nice ass & you’re not used to it, but I thankfully can say I have other things going for me – so put your eyes back in your head and appreciate those things too – I’m kind of a triple threat, no big deal. Jk)