again…

So this could be the Happy Hour talking, but I freaking love you.

Per usual, I was questioned as to my single status tonight. It should have been the time when I was super vague and not putting my business out there to new co-workers (especially bc some are trying to get at me), but what did I do?? I launched into how much I adore you and got choked up. SO STUPID.

But you know what?! I’m not even sorry. And I realized that for a long time, I’ve been hanging onto the notion that yeah, we’ve hurt each other, but it doesn’t matter because you’ve hurt me way more.

But right now, none of that matters to me and all I want is to see you or talk to you. Not because I was just talking about you, but because it’s been so long that I’ve seen you after I got used to seeing you all the time, and every time I see you, my world is ok. Or even just taking to you…about absolutely nothing, like we had been…it makes me smile like an idiot and I love it. It gets me through my days.

I’m a smart girl, but when it comes to you, all of that shit flies outta the window. You’re the only one to make me set aside my maneater tendencies even though they would otherwise be applicable in our case. I have guys all in my face every damn day and all I think about is you. It makes no sense.

But we make sense. And I’ve been told that for years. This is stupid. This is dumb. Now I’m crying so I’m going to curl up into a ball…FML.

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