About 15 girls I went to high school/college with are either preggers, already had a baby, and or are about to have another; and another 20 girls are engaged/planning weddings/just got married (there is some overlap between the two categories; thank you FB). I mean seriously, good for them. I’m happy for them. It just blows my mind that so many people have already started families! And not in the sense of “oh, it was just yesterday that we were in school.” I know we’re grown and at that age. I just…I don’t know, it’s crazy.
I understand that everyone’s situation is different – hell, I did things backwards. Instead of waiting to get married and buy a house, I did it on my own when I was 24 and very single lol Still am. Whatevs. I guess my point is this…and I know a lot of people will agree…it seems like a lot of girls just rush into the husband/kid thing out of fear or obligation. Like, ok, I better marry this guy now because who knows if another will come along willing to marry me. Or a lot of times it’s a race between girlfriends. That jealousy sets in and then they start nagging their boyfriend. (God bless you poor men.) It just seems like for a lot of women that’s their goal in life – to get someone to marry them and they’ve failed if they don’t. Like “yay, I hooked one! and before I was 25!!” Like it’s an accomplishment instead of looking forward to actually spending your life with an amazing person. It drives me NUTS. That is why men are scared of us. Because they think we’re all trying to trap them.
Don’t get me wrong – getting married before you’re 33-ish is important! The whole biological clock thing (ugh). But idk, it just makes me really sad to see so many girls tying their self-worth to getting married/having babies. NO, I’m not saying everyone should have lofty career goals, and NO I’m not saying everyone that’s done it already is making some huge mistake – again, for some people, the timing of their life to do it was correct and appropriate for them. BUT, we all know that that’s not the case for a lot of people. Me? I’m one of those crazies. I’ve spent the last four years focusing on grad school, buying a house, and my career so that if I ever do have kids, I’ll have lots of money to
spoil them provide for them. (Also, to make my parents proud, and wanting more than average for myself). But where has that gotten me?! Single. Stuck in a job I despise that I’m overqualified for. And planning for puppy as a stand-in child as everyone on FB is having real babies. So ya know… It’s hilarious to me, you have no idea. I’m not jealous, I promise.
Yes, I want those things but I’m not willing to rush into anything just to say I did. Truth be told, if I wanted to be married with babies by now, I could have already. And if it’s in the cards, it’ll happen when it should. And really, as much as I want all that, and I’ve been looking forward to those things for 26 years, if I end up single for the rest of my life, I REALLY am ok with that. I just happen to be an abnormally-independent person (ahem, only child), so I can be on my own. It only gets me down like once a month lol Other than that. I’m fine with it. Do I want to share my life with someone? Sure. I believe in love. I love love and my independence isn’t strong enough to overpower that amazing feeling of being in love or letting myself care for someone. Basically, I don’t let either overpower the other, is what I should say. I’m just not searching for love (because you end up disappointed), and refuse to feel like I “failed” in some way for not already being married or ever getting married. If it happens, it happens. (I think I’ve already met my soulmate, but we’ll discuss that later.)
This ended up a lot longer than I intended – all in all, I love that my biggest life decision is whether to buy an iPad or a puppy-child. Off I go!