Last week, my trainer at the gym pulled me aside and got really quiet with the serious face: “Are you single?”
And no, my immediate reaction was not “wow, he’s hitting on me.” I just replied with a very coy “ummmm, yes…why?” and before he could reply…”Are you trying to rub it in because I don’t have a Valentine?!”
Ugh. How sad does that sound?!?!
He gave me this weird look and just said “uh, no…in due time…you’ll see…” SUPER CREEPY. Shady…sounded like he was trying to play matchmaker for someone there (gross).
Then today, he pulls me aside and asks what’s wrong. Yes, I’ve been very angry on the inside the past few days for a number of reasons, but really thought I hid it well on the outside!! So I faked a smile and asked “Why do you say that?” He said because I’m not my usual smiling bubbly self. I looked down at the floor and blurted out “Because tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day!” and ran to the other room. He definitely gave me the “Are you for real?!?!?!” look.
Yeah. I thought that was the end of it. But no. He came in while I was doing my pushups, sat down with the serious tone and asked if I was really upset over VDay. I said yeah but not really. Of course the convo launched into why I don’t have a Valentine and he asked “Wow, are guys really that bad?” YES YES and YES. I laughed and said “Yes, they are. And I’m single by choice.”
He said some other blah blah blah about one day you’ll find the right person, and when he asked me if I really get into Vday like that, I said that the problem with the day is that women set themselves up for failure – they set their standards and expectations wayy too high, and then have the nerve to get upset when a guy f’s up. You can’t create a fairy tale in your head and expect a guy to live up to it, and since I realized that, life has been much easier. But if you are lucky enough to find one of the six good guys left on this planet and he does something over the top for you…well then it would be greatly appreciated and a pleasant surprise. Big difference between “expectation, this for sure MUST happen because I want it to and that’s how it should be because that’s how movies are and I told him what I wanted or he should already know; omg my life will end if he screws this up!” and “aww, babe – you shouldn’t have!”
So no – I’m not bitter. I just hate that I’ve become that girl that has actually learned from her dating experiences and bases her outlook on truth/proven facts and it shows. Sometimes it’s nicer to have fantasy shape your outlook – that warm fuzzy feeling of optimism. Me? I’ve seen what’s out there. It’s not pretty. And I don’t base this on just my experiences (that would make me biased) – I observe others as well.
I guess that’s my Valentine’s Day rant. NO, I am NOT against it – the hopeless romantic buried in my heart actually loves it like Christmas – I love Love. It’s a beautiful thing and a holiday devoted to it is fun to me! I celebrated last year (but I was in a relationship). The only reason I’m tripping over it this year is because I’m not with the person I should be with…tragic. I have no problem being single whatsoever – it just shows I know my worth and refuse to settle.